Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought, wait a minute, by “WE” did he/she really mean “ME”? Me organizing a new focus group, Me securing all vendors for the school auction, ME taking on even more? Maybe you tell yourself you don’t want to know the answer to those questions because you can’t bare the thought of being responsible for one more thing. Or, maybe, your relationship with the other party(s) is already rocky and you don’t want to risk making it worse.
What’s the cost of silence?
Worry! That uncomfortable, niggling awareness just below the surface that tells us something is unresolved. It’s hanging over our heads. We don’t always name it in the moment, but we can feel it begin to invade. Worry is a very hungry emotion that tends to multiply and consume us very quickly. And when our anxiety goes up, our quality of life goes down. Every time.
So… how can we avoid this communication “miss?”
Practice Active Listening
Clarify as often as possible in the moment. When they are speaking, make sure you’re paying attention to their thoughts rather than your own. Summarize what they say and repeat it back to them to ensure you are hearing them correctly. This will reduce assumptions, which is the cause of most miscommunication.
Follow up!
Whether you think the expectations are clear or not, this is an excellent practice to develop. People appreciate the extra effort and it gives you the opportunity to catch miscommunication before it becomes misunderstanding.
It’s true that clarifying may result in more responsibility at times, but at least you won’t be left worrying about it! If you find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no, let’s talk about boundaries next!